Cyber Bullying - 5 Things you MUST Know

07.18.10

Bullying that takes place over the internet, how can that be? Can’t you just close out of the window or sign off? These are the attitudes so commonly taken by parents and educators today. Even some teens themselves fail to understand the implications of Cyber Bullying. Cyber Bullying reaches deeper than just online verbal harassment. The nature of the internet allows for an entire audience of people to watch it happen. Cyber Bullying need not even specifically involve the victim in direct communication. So whereas verbal or physical bullying in a school setting is often directly aimed at an individual, Cyber Bullying can impose an equal if not greater trauma from anywhere, around the clock, and with a crowd of onlookers. 

Take this example. A kid, Zack, at his high school has rumors that are being spread about him amongst the class body. As if having everyone at your school think you’re a loser and you have problems isn’t enough, he arrives home that night only to logon to the internet and find that it has spread to the online world. He logs into his Formspring to find he has 10 new questions, “Dude...I heard you’re gay!?”, “Haha mannn and I thought you were an okay kid, I can’t believe you cheated on her!”, and “You know life really sucks when people can’t even say your name without thinking GAY!!” amongst others. Next he checks his Facebook, all over his wall are comments from people who he thought were his friends, making fun of him and dissing everything about him. Even a new Facebook group was formed, “Join if you think Zack’s a Fag!”. It currently has 47 members, all of whom are on his “friends list”, some of whom he doesn’t even know. He logs into Myspace, thirty minutes ago a bulletin was posted, “10 Reasons Zack Sucks”. He turns his computer off. He’s getting text messages on his phone now too. Zack doesn’t know what to do, what can he do, his reputation is destroyed, his “friends” turned against him. What was a gross rumor made up by an ex-girlfriend has now completely ruined his life.  Now you see what a potent and vile affect Cyber Bullying can have. 

This story may sound extreme, but somewhere, it has happened. Every day an estimated 200,000 kids stay home from school, for one reason, they can’t face the pain. Here’s what you need to know about stopping Cyber Bullying if this happens to you or someone you care about.

1. Recognize the Signs

Obviously if you’re the victim of Cyber Bullying you know it. For parents, friends, and family however, sometimes it can be more difficult to gain an insight into a teens life, especially online. Look for any drastic changes in behavior, specifically, more than normal mood swings. Watch for any signs that suggest hesitation in going to school or no longer going to social events. After a teen has tried long enough to get themselves out of the situation and it hasn't worked, they will begin to shut down. They might ditch school, and in some cases teens will refuse to go to school but not give a clear cut reason to their parents. This should be a blatantly obvious sign something out of the ordinary is wrong. Teachers play an instrumental part in this process as well, often times teachers hear things and disregard them as normal teenager things. When something has gotten to the point that it’s being discussed around a teacher, it has already been circulating around the student body for some time and is no longer an issue that can be overlooked. 

2. Tell the authorities if it’s seriously abusive and or illegal (e.g. Threats)

 As much as you don’t want to, you need to get help. Depending on where the source of abuse is coming from, you either need to contact your ISP or the network that the bullying is happening on. In the scenario I described above, you would want to take screen shots and record all conversations, messages, and comments that you have on your profiles because as soon as word gets out you’ve said something, people will start deleting their content. You need to send this material to the abuse email addresses that social networks provide you with on their websites. If it’s over SMS or email you should contact your ISP and let them start action against the user. Likewise, if it’s over a phone related service, call your wireless provider and they can initiate action against the offender as well. If you’ve done these two things and either the problem continues to get worse or is not resolved in a week or less, invoke the help local law enforcement. Call the police (Non-emergency number) and ask to be connected to their cyber crime or hate crime division. Tell them everything and provide them with the evidence you’ve collected.

3. Do not engage the aggressors

It’s not a fist fight. So don’t try and fight back. You’ve heard it a million times, that will only show that it’s getting to you and entice the aggressor. Believe it or not, it will also give the aggressor additional ammunition to work with in further bullying. The nice thing about the internet is you can ignore abuse without anyone knowing you really are. At school try your best to brush things off, even if you’re breaking down inside, staying strong at this time will prove extremely advantageous to you now and later on.

 

4. Do not try to do things to clear your name initially

You’ve already lost in the social world. Don’t try to counter the abuse you’re receiving with different abuse or rumors directed at those who are attacking you. Denying things only works so well and after a point if you continue to show that it’s a big deal, your credibility as a truth telling victim becomes greatly diminished.

 

5. If the problem still persists, consider taking all your affected accounts offline

Some ISP’s are not that effective in stopping online bullying, especially if it is on a social network. If you have contacted the social network’s abuse center, contacted local law enforcement, and your ISP, and the problem still persists, take your accounts offline. It may seem like surrender, but you need to remove from the internet the breeding ground that people are using to attack you.

Everyone needs to be aware of the severity of Cyber Bullying. I hope this has helped you in your life, if not at least made you aware of what’s going on out there with other teens.