Vanessa Van Petten - Grasping At Motivation: For Teens and Parents

07.23.10

I am very excited to have partnered with Vanessa Van Petten for guest authoring!

Vanessa Van Petten travels the country speaking to all types of groups about family relationships, teen lifestyles, advertising to Net-Generation and many other issues pertaining to Gen Y. She also gives keynote and inspirational speeches. Her website RadicalParenting.com received over 120,000 unique visitors last month and is ranked in the top %0.11 on Technorati! Buy her book "You're Grounded" on Amazon!

By Vanessa Van Petten

Here are the top five values parents list when thinking about raising children:

1. Happiness
2. Ambition
3. Leadership
4. Kindness
5. Success

Three of the top five values—ambition, leadership and success all boil down to one intrinsically human characteristic: motivation. In order to be ambitious, a good leader and successful at whatever we do we must be motivated to do it.

Yet, how do we encourage motivation in our teens and in ourselves? I believe this is one of the hardest lessons to adopt. Here are the principles I use to keep this slippery value:

 

1. Efficiency is Our Greatest Gift

Efficiency and productivity are the best motivators. Often times when I am working with teens or trying to get myself to do something I have been dreading, I pick a activity to start with that makes me feel motivated and productive. That way it is much easier to be motivated about the activity I do not like. This works in life as well. If you are unmotivated to make a change, start a project or finish a goal, start with one you can do and feel good at.

 

2. Recognize Weak Points

Motivation is fleeting and can often slip through your fingers at the slightest trigger. This is especially in important when it comes to homework and grades. If you know that the second your brother comes in or turns on the TV your motivation to finish studying evaporates, remove the stimulus or trigger. Thinking through times when you have lost motivation and then identifying what caused it can help you avoid those triggers in the future.

 

3. Don’t Push It

There are things you have to push through to find motivation to finish—paying bills, doing math drills, studying for the SAT (if you like these things more power to you!). But, I find many people pick activities or projects they do not really enjoy, but think they ‘should’ do. Of course they are unmotivated to do them—they don’t really love it. If you can help it, pick goals and projects you love so motivation does not feel like a push, but a pleasure.

 

4. Utilize Easy Times

We all have times when studying or completing projects is easier. I am more productive in the morning. I have found when I go out late and sleep until ten or eleven in the morning I have a very unproductive day. I work hard to motivate myself to work during the easy times not the harder ones. Motivating yourself at night when you are not a night person is doubly hard. Take advantage of the times when you know you are already more motivated.

Motivation is not a value you can ‘achieve,’ it comes and goes and must be worked at. Practicing these tips will help you be a better leader, have more ambition and success—which your parents and most people want very much.

I have included a short video about Vanessa's work.